Frank and Bill I got my attitude when I got my contact lenses. This was back in my mid-teens, and you don't understand, until then I had the thickest glasses imaginable. They had a strap to keep them from falling off my face. And it was from behind these that I was witness to the world. When they came off, I was free.

In an English class, we were given an assignment to write a parody of a nursery rhyme. Before the end of class, I had written one called Ode to Frank and Bill, which I was allowed to read out loud. Based on Jack and Jill, my humourous little bit was about two teenaged boys who get married. In hindsight, I think it was definitely pushing the envelope of appropriateness for my Roman Catholic School. But you think I cared? No, I had attitude.

Miss Ciurysek got upset and gave me a failing grade on the meaningless assignment. When I got upset, she sent me to the principal's office for a lecture on morality.

The outcome of the incident was that I had to redo the assignment. Nothing major, right? Well it is when you have attitude. I wrote a scathing parody of the same nursery rhyme that I called the Cremation of Law. It was over the top, it was blown out of proportion, and it received a perfect grade. Not because it deserved it, mind you; I think in the end, Miss Ciurysek was just being a good teacher.  ¶ 9:51 PM